2013 - What Is Up?

2013 has been awful. Did not see such horrible events coming.
In March, Jarrell signed out of a group home with a behavioral health unit.  He went homeless that night and took an overdose of lithium.  He was hospitalized, then transferred to a psych hospital. The group home would not take him back, so I accepted him into my care.

He moved back home in May (the same day I started my new job). It was bumpy. But over time things settled.  Things seemed to be really calm by July.  I was patient and pretty happy.  I even told family and friends how well things were at home, nice and peaceful.

Jarrell wanted his own place with support.  His case manager was working on this, but Jarrell's recent history of anger and aggression made him a difficult placement. His temper was getting worse.  I took him on an interview for a day program, every time I contributed to the interview, he would go into a major rant.  Needless to say, he was not accept.

I took him for his MD appointment (new appointment).  He asked the clerk where was the bathroom; I pointed it out... he went into a rant again!

Regardless of his rants, they were not major issues.  My home was peaceful.  He has his own huge room in the back, computer, radio, DVD, cable tv and air-conditioning.  The room is junky, he is a hoarder.  The room is outright filthy.  When he leaves out, I make the bed so there is some decency.

Lately he has been asking more about his own place. But as usual, I told him it will take time for his case manager to locate.  In the meantime, I made sure he enjoyed my home.. I made muffins every morning, kept him with his Powerades, Crystal Light, and Diet Mountain Dew.  I made sure he had a good meal prepared at 3am, before I would leave for work. I'm talking chili, pork chops, casseroles, pasta, pizza and fancy salads.  He had his privacy.  I leave out at 5:15am and back home by 5:15pm. I limited conversations to keep him from going "off".  I often got bitter nasty emails from him, I only replied... "Noted"

Jarrell saw his therapist every week and his psychiatrist every month. He had a Ventra card and got allowance every single week.   All the right things were being done to keep Jarrell happy. 

On the night of October 1st, I was sleeping on the couch, woke up startled, being sprayed in the face, I screamed as Jarrell hit me with a 5 pound weight.  He ran out the house, came back and called the police.

That was the end of Jarrell.

The paramedics arrived, police were very nice, and took him to the hospital.

After a few days, he was transferred to a psych unit.

I went to visit Jarrell, he cursed me out horribly and I left promptly. He said all of this was my fault because I did not move things fast for him to get placement.

Later, he met with his social worker, threw a chair which hit her.

He was moved to a different unit.

Jarrell's case manager is working to have him placed in a State Operated Facility.

I saw Jarrell yesterday.  He looks like a walking zombie.  He still cursed me out as I left.

No one in my family knows any of this...unless Jarrell told them.

If they ask, I will inform them.  But I will not demonize him in the process.

He needs a restricted environment.

I am glad that he lived with me for the past 5 months.  It was a good life.  But he hated it.  He has got to be totally crazy.

I know he is totally crazy.  He lived in a nice group home.  They even gave Jarrell his own apartment.  Nevertheless, he did not get along with staff.  His hospitalizations increased, more police calls from property damage.  To show how crazy Jarrell was, he would leave his apartment to pick a fight with the building staff.  A kind older gentleman.

Jarrell had 12 years of wonderful independence.  Always with his own bedroom or apartment.  The last 5 months were the best on this earth for him. 

Again, I am glad he lived with me for these last 5 months.  He hated it.  No one on this earth would have it that good.  He had his chance.  He showed his mental state which is not good at all.

A Long Awaited Turning Point

I did not see this coming.  This was not a "Janet's Plan".  But, 2013 has been a profound year; September has been a profound month; the week of September 22 major and September 27th was a long awaited day.

Without a lot of unnecessary background information, I am now at long last semi-retired!

I really never planned to outright retire as I enjoy the hustle of working.  Some major family life events took place early this year, my home-life has been readjusted and it is good.  I have been in search of the ideal employer for a very long time.  Such a creature does not exist.  No more searching for me.

I am now semi-retired, working ONLY part-time with NO take home work.  I am carefully scheduling my work periods.

• I am now on my own schedule. 

• I have more time to take care of my home and son.  No competition with a full time job.

• I now have more time to spend in church and doing church work. My life long church- First Immanuel Lutheran Church has welcomed and been so receptive of this little busy body.  They have given me the freedom to engage in many activities and roles.  First Immanuel Lutheran Church has been with me and filled a major void in my life ever since my best buddy- my beloved mother past away.  The ministry of First Immanuel Lutheran Church is my mission.

• I am also going to spend more time with my sister. I got time for her again.  I really enjoy the "Girlie Times" that me, Janine and Ms. Beans spend together on occasional afternoons.

• I am also ready to take care of me again!  Back to the fitness center!!  Attention recent weight gain... You are sooooo out of here!!!

So on this early Saturday morning as I am sipping on the best cup of coffee ever... I am also taking a deep breath and exhaling!  Ahhhhhhh.... this feels good!    Hello sunshine!

Patterns of "Friendship" BEWARE!

This morning my wonderful cousin posted a very significant photo-link on Facebook.  I have added it to this blog as a photo.  I need to discuss the message much further in this blog because I know exactly what the problem is and it is more that what the photo states.

Folks have to be cognizant of how they form relationships. Certain dependent and toxic patterns must be stopped early. Once we recognize the formation of toxic relationship patterns, if we do not stop it, then we become enablers.

Here are some examples of dependent and toxic relationship patterns you may have encountered: 

•  when a classmate ONLY makes contact at test time; 

• a co-worker who ONLY makes contact when stressed out at the workplace; 

• a relative who makes contact ONLY when money is needed; 

•  a colleague who you NEVER EVER heard from until a reference is needed. 

Just note how foolishly dependent folks are who start those toxic patterns. When you experience these problems, you must stop it and discontinue communications. 

These functionally disabled/dependent folks need to LEARN how to make contact when things are going well. It is easy!!!!

• Why not meet up for coffee?

• Why not "do lunch" or "do dinner"?

• Why not invite the person over for a quick meal and chat?

Probably requires too much effort... Hence that is why the relationship is T-O-X-I-C!

You will further need to put up those bricks that are forming that wall as shown in the picture below.

Most Employers are Resilient and Don't You Forget It!

Yes, most employers are resilient, not all of them but most of them.  This means that YOU, the worker is dispensable.  YOU CAN BE REPLACED, the workplace will adjust and do even better without you!

This week, I witnessed a worker get fired.  The worker had excellent skills for the job, had many years of tenure, but seemed to have started to with quality of work.  May have started to take the employer for granted.  But the organization has been very patient, carefully monitored the performance from many perspectives and promptly fired the stated worker this week. 

This coming week, adjustments will be made and the organization will be better than ever!  This is the resilient nature of the workplace.

In my career, I have NEVER witnessed the resiliency of past employers.  When I left or was moved from a unit, I have seen:

• My past work be maintained for 10 years or more because workers have been incompetent and did not have a clue, desire or drive to update my outdated work.

• Projects that I developed remained untouched but continued implementation until a re-accreditation approached.

• Projects that I developed deteriorated horribly.

• Co-workers left or were released because they could not continue the "project" that I implemented.

After all of my years of working, it has not been until 2013, that I witnessed resiliency in the workplace following release of a worker with good skills.  I think that HR has finally actualized strategies that promote resiliency.  FINALLY!!!

So, now that this day has arrived, my advice is... watch yourself!  You can and will be replaced!  The new employer now knows how to strategies and rebound effectively after releasing workers with excellent occupational skills.

Today's worker must have the skills, talent, attitude and drive to be effective.  If any element in that equation is compromised just remember that today... YOU CAN BE REPLACED!!

Words of Wisdom to My Nursing Students - August 10, 2013

I was a witness to a major power play at work which resulted in a high level firing. No need to go into details, that is not necessary.  Focus on the big picture, not the small minor "gossipy" chatter.

1. This is a man's world. So you better watch your step!  There is a difference in female to female conversations as compared to female to male conversations.

2. In the boardroom, women can be "catty" and aggressive with other women.  But with men, we women better watch our mouth and be strategic with our words and mannerisms.

3. If you women fail to heed those above two facts, regardless of how well you serve your organization, if you are fierce with men in the boardroom, you are going to get FIRED!

Okay, here are some more observations from this month...

4. Plan for your retirement NOW!!! Yes, you are just starting as an RN, but you need to pick up high level skills no less than 5 years of nursing!

5. What are those skills?  WRITING, SPEAKING, THINKING, PLANNING, & COMMUNICATING.

6. A very high level, respected educator just retired and is now asking me where to seek employment! I was shocked that this person spent 30+ years without acquiring additional skills! Uh... excuse me, it is too late now.  That person wasted 30 years!

7. I spent 20 years doing the following IN ADDITION to my full time job.  It was hard, but the pay-off has been wonderful:

• Evaluating CE programs as a peer reviewer.

• Volunteering as an ANCC appraiser.

• Teaching LPNs.

• Serving as a clinical nursing adjunct.

• Putting extra effort into staff development.... I always took lots of work home.

• Volunteered in committees for the Illinois Nurses Association.

• Worked on curriculum development projects for the City Colleges of Chicago

8. When it was time for me to leave / early retire from my job, I did it as planned! I was fully prepared and packaged by professional development to be recognized as a valuable asset to future employers.

9. When it is time to retire, you need to be ready!  If you become a "non-valued" employee, you will be miserable.  No one wants to listen to years of complaints about your workplace.  At some point, you have to recognize that the problem is not the employer.... it is YOU!

10. Someone recently asked me for my resume for a company that was being considered.  I declined because I have no experience in that field.  But, students, remember that your supervisors are your future references!  You do not approach "strangers" for a reference!!!  You must pave your career paths early.  EVERY SUPERVISOR IS A POTENTIAL REFERENCE FOR A LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION!

In summary, acquire new skills beyond basic nursing care now; do not wait until you retire to figure out what you can do.... in most instances, you have not prepared your career path, so there is NOTHING new you can do; when you are no longer useful with your employer, give it a couple of years, then move on, do not sit around and complain until you have enough time... you may get fired; respect your supervisors as they are your future references; and finally beware of the boardroom - do not take on the same approach when you battle with men as you would battle with women.

I AM AN ASTUTE WITNESS TO ALL OF THE ABOVE!!!

Week in Review - July 13 2013

This was the first week back to work after a fantastic four day summer holiday weekend. What a busy work week!

I accomplished a lot.  Performed a huge qualitative trends analysis that is awesome!  Really glad the wonderful administrative assistant is doing well, back to work and I am now able to focus on the business of my duties.  I think I really have a fantastic team.  Did I say team?  Yes!  I am thinking, is this the first time in 30 something years, I am part of a work team instead of Team Janet, party of one???  IJS!

Yesterday, we had a fun event with the Board.  Huge cupcakes had to be creatively decorated by our pre-assigned teams.   Many of my co-workers are really creative!  It was truly a fun event.

Wednesday night, I managed a big time conference call.  Had a pretty good team member.  Glad that is over.  Will do report this weekend.

Went to an advanced nursing practice event Thursday evening in Oakbrook.  Nice way to reward myself for a busy month.   That was a lot of fun at Maggiano's.  I have leftovers to last the full weekend.

This was indeed a busy BUT productive and enjoyable week!

Relaxing July 2013 Holiday Weekend

I really enjoy this +4 holiday weekend!  No frantic cookout, just relaxed and enjoyed.

 Tuesday was my pre-holiday celebration.  Went to a vendor dinner meeting at Athenos Restaurant and had a really good time!

Wednesday was an early release day at work.  Never experienced that!  What a wonderful treat!

Thursday was the holiday. No frills!  Just grilled hot dogs and burgers.  Sister and niece over for cocktails and girl talk.  Nice and relaxing.  No hustle.

Friday was a wonderful day off.  But, I was up early with coffee and doing office and church work.  Spent the rest of the day relaxing and looking at TV.

Saturday was another nice laid back day. Up early sipping coffee as I did some office and church work.  Went to visit cousin and aunt.  Then, some shopping at my favorite Walmart.

Sunday I was up early again doing church work, scanned and returned photos to a church member and checked PO box.  Rest of day relaxing ALL DAY.

Well, I love my uneventful holidays.  Time to get ready for my work week hustle.  I am fully relaxed and ready to head back to work.