Day After Directional Advice

I slept good last night.  I am glad to have had the opportunity to think and plan out this crucial moment in life.  It is important to go slow, be careful of spoken words because they can never be taken back.  It is not good to have to regret saying something during a stressful time.

The young relative came by last night.  I gave the loan, fixed her a drink and took her on a tour of my place.  I pointed out the grease stains on my kitchen wall, the totally destroyed back room closet, the filthy dining room carpet and the 2 broken dining room chairs.....all in lousy condition as destroyed by her mother/my sister.  Hence, this is the reason why no one will move in with me.  Her mother destroyed my home during the time she stayed here.  This was one of the reasons I told her, that she would never be able to move in with me.  I will not allow it.

I then had her review a special packet of information I prepared, assembled and copied the day before. It was good information on women's shelters.  I went through this page by page.

I then, packed a nice dinner of fried perch and chicken/veggie rice for her to take home.

I drove her to 3 SRO's that she needs to investigate.  The applications and contact information was in the pack I prepared.

Amazing, during the chat, she seemed to understand and seemed receptive to all information.  I clarified that I am retired, working part time for now and cannot allow relatives to depend on me.  This is a new day.  Everything said was passionate.  I even gave her instructions on how to make initial contact in seeking a shelter.  I will even take care of her cat.

I also warned her to be careful of her mother.  My sister will be likely to ask the nursing home to find her a place.  With that, she will move her daughter in.  My sister cannot take care of herself.  My niece abandoned her in her darkest days.  I will not step in.  So, I advised her do not allow this to happen.

My final point is not only as older adults, we cannot allow younger family folks to use us.  But, we have to be compassionate, provide them with information and details that they may never had considered.  No need for "I told ya so" or to berate a person when they are down.  Give the directions and remain prayerful.